thank heaven for Fiztastic.

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009 8:21 PM

I'm Breaking Down.

I dont have school today. Its the first time in around 2 years that i've got a free day. I have totally nothing to do. I've always thought that days like this would be fantastic. But, today just made me miss my princess even more. I miss her terribly and i'm on the verge on collapsing. I barely eat nowadays. I made noodles in the morning just now but that just reminded me of the noodles that Love used to make for me. Everything i do just reminds me of you. Its so difficult for me to function nowadays. Its been almost a week and i haven't got any better.

Thanks Love for talking to me last night. Its been a while since we last had a conversation. I appreciate that. But when you said that if you were the most important thing to me, then i would only think of coming back and nothing else. It made me feel really down. You really are the most important thing to me. Believe me. Don't doubt me alright. I know you love me. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. I hope you feel that way to.

You're going clubbing today. Have fun with the girls. I know you'll take care of yourself. Its just that you know how i act everytime you go clubbing. I'm a big jerk. Just take care of yourself and don't get drunk. It's good that you have friends that tries to take you out to have a good time. You deserve it. Let you hair down and enjoy. Just remember you have a husband here. You are as good as married woman. Remember that. You should take your mind off things. Let loose and relax. I wished i had friends here who would do the same. i wished i had friends here.

Baby, when its my turn to let loose and enjoy, will you help me do it? I'm alone here as you know. I barely talk to my parents anymore and my sisters are busy with their own things. I've got no friends. I'm alone. I want to let loose and enjoy myself too. I just dont know how. Love, should i even bother with trying to enjoy myself and let loose? Fuck, i cant even do the simple things by myself.

On a separate note, I took some photos while at soccer yesterday. This is one of them. Its not the best photo. I hope you're not angry or anything. The camera died like 5 mins in. That's all for today. Lets see whether tommorrow brings more misery to me or i get lucky and somehow i manage to smile by myself. I seriously doubt it.

I LOVE YOU NOR AISYAH BINT MOHD SAH. I think of you every single day, every single moment. You fill up my day. I love you.

P.S. I Love you angel.

it's FIZTASTIC!